करवटे !

ये बदलतीं करवटे बता रही है
की आँख बंद करके कोई जाग रहा है
चादर पर अब सिलवटों की जगह नही बचीं हैं
बिस्तर काँपने लगा है,
लट्टे बिखर गयी है,
अंधेरा रोशन हो गया है,
घड़ी की टिक टिक गूंज रही है
धड़कनों से ताल मिला रही है
पर दिल अब समय से तेज़ चल रहा है,
बाँहे बेसब्र है इस सब्र से,
की तकिया का अब काम नही रहा है,
सड़क से एकाएक मोटर की आवाज़ दहकती है,
चौकीदार की सीटी सवधान करती है,
ये रात की खामोशी बेचैन करती है,
क्या कोई और भी कही जगा है,
क्योंकि सुबह अब क्षितिज के पार लगती है,

Love maggi

Like strands of our favorite maggi gets entangled into each other. Our love life too got mixed up. We are group of five friends, Amrita or Amy, Revti as Ray, Paridhi as Pary, Anirudh as Andy and me, Saurabh as Sebu.
Being in missionary school, our names got baptized.

Andy is coolest one, keeps himself busy in gym and sports. He doesn’t understand love and emotions. But as a hunk he attracts lot of attention and enjoys the limelight.

Pary is similiar. She is a guitarist, singer and song writer, a band in herself. Her tattoos are a book of philosophy.

Amy and Ray are toppers, sincere, focused, goal setters and achievers. While I, Sebu, has no such traits. Maybe its the reason I am writing about others life.

School was a jolly time. There were no worries except exam. We used to live in the same neighbourhood and available to each other for 24 hours. College may have created distance in kilometres but not in our heart. We kept in touch and met each other on holidays. But honeymoon of the life got over after we entered the race of bread and butter. Andy joined his family business. Pary followed her dream to pursue career in music. Me and Amy joined different company in same city while Ray worked in same company as Amy but located farthest of all. We continued to be together through whatsapp, concalls, vacations. I had been organising everything since school and may be the gel which kept our group together.

When the discussion for nuptials began at home, I felt differently toward my friends. For me Amy, Pary and Ray are suddenly not friends but girls. Since me and Amy are in same city, we meet quite frequently. When I tried to woo her, she snubbed me and even complained to Ray as I am closest to her. Ray only prompted me to ask out Amy. She even pushed me to Pary. But Pary being a free bird, did not believe in marriage or relationships. She is having time of her life in Mumbai.

After getting shoved by Amy, I was shaken. Later Amy confessed to Ray that she has crush on Andy since school days. Ray prodded me to ask Andy. Doing as instructed, I realised that he is no more a playboy and wanted to settle down. He liked Amy too but couldn’t express his feelings as he is afraid of losing friendship. None of us knew of about the coffee brewing under over noses. We finally became the matchmaker between Andy and Amy. To give back the favour, Andy and Amy tried to get me and Ray together. I was elated when Andy asked me about her because I was closest to Ray. But she never replied to this proposal. Finally I gathered the courage to face her directly. She reprimended me badly. I was shattered to pieces. Later Amy got to know that Ray and Pary are gay and have hots for each other since realisation of sexuality. Now section 377 being legalised they will be open about their relationship.

The news dropped on me like a nuclear bomb. I felt jealous and embarrassed. Not even a single girl of three is interested in me. Am I that bad ? If my childhood friends don’t find me good enough, how will any other girl? This love maggi is disgusting. It has become a khichdi.

I isolated myself by quitting the WhatsApp group and stopped picking up calls. I avoided them even on home visits. As dust was settling inside me, one fine Friday evening all four of them suddenly appeared in my office so that I do not create any scene. After winding up the week, they kidnapped me. They tied my hands and gagged my mouth. Nobody uttered a word. After a long drive, we reached our hometown before dawn but did not go home. I panicked, jumped, cried but none of them reacted. I had to give them signs that nature is calling continuously. The boys accompanied me, pulled my pants and ordered to do my business before them. It felt like a prisoner of war and wanted to proclaim my rights under Geneva Convention.

While we were waiting outside the park near our neighbourhood, a familiar face was approaching with light of the day. It was my neighbour Parul. She was blushing but shocked to see me tied. It was than anyone spoke for the first time since evening and told me how she had childhood crush on me which I did not notice. They found out when Parul met them in a marriage party in our locality and enquired about me. They kept quite about the whole situation while she continued saying how I was always busy with them and ignoring others. She also noticed my unusual behaviour during recent home visits. After she left, her abnormal inquisitiveness raised doubts among them. The group ganged up. They met Parul again and kind of interrogated her. She gave in about her interest in me. Then this plan was hatched by the gang for making up to me and that’s the reason I am tied up before her like a prisoner.

Andy, Amy, Pary and Ray said in unison “Thank us later in evening when we welcome new member to the gang. Till then both of you can fulfill your appetite of love.” It is best surprise of my life. Love maggi is not that bad after all.

दिल की सिगरेट

मैंने जिससे मोहब्बत की
उसने मेरी अरमानों को
जली हुई सिगरेट के टुकडे की तरह
पैरों तलों रौंद दिया
मेरे फेफड़े भी जल गए
दिल भी टूट गया

वो कहती है की
उसने तो ऐसा कुछ नही जताया
अरे तो फिर ये धुंआ क्यों उड़ाया

वो शायद
दिल की सिगरेट पीने का शौक रखती है

इस शौक से फेफड़े तो पता नही
उसका दिल ज़रूर मर गया है

Mea culpa

I regret that moment,

The moment you
were disappointed,
got angry,
became despair,
gave up,
moved on,

You may have
grumbled curses under your breath,
hit me an invisible bludgeon,
kicked in the shin,
punched in the stomach,
thrown water on my face,

I wish you to have done it all,
shouted in place of deafening silence,
reprimanded rather than ignoring,
broke bones instead of hopes,
slapped as opposed to staring,
unleashed your wrath,

Atleast you would have spat,
the venom of bitternes,
latched the broken chains,
dumped the past,
moved to sort differences,
ironed out the wrinkles,

And healed our relation
the Japanese way,
mending cracks with gold,
ornated with fine shining lines,
the pot of relationship,
brandishing unbreakable bond,

Neither one of us is perfect,
but imperfection binds us,
the acceptance of errors,
differentiates us,
each anomaly is a stepping stone ,
to reach acme of Xanadu.

Love in times of corona

Today is our 20th wedding anniversary. We planned to have our customary dinner date. Considering our work schedule, the dinners are rare occasion. I being a marketing man and she working as consultant,  airports, cabs & hotels started giving us homely feeling. But due to Corona fear, the business has slowed down. With time available in excess now, I decided to prepare dinner at home itself. It has been long since I have picked up ladle and knife in kitchen. I had to depend my maid to locate things. But my hands still knew how to make the signature dishes Malai Kofta, Pyaz Pulav, Bharva Bhindi, Lachchha Paratha and Sevaiyon ki kheer. The aroma of spices made me nostalgic. It took me to early years of marriage when I wooed her by cooking skills. How she used to sit on kitchen shelf, irritating me by hiding things or finding faults in my methods. Once she handed me amchoor powder instead of garam masala and whole gravy was ruined. We had to eat maggi. But with love in the air, that too felt like having a Valentine’s dinner.

It’s ancient history now. After we lost our child due to one of these mysterious fevers, we became mute and kind of blamed ourselves. We reminded each other of the tragedy so immersed ourselves in work and started travelling extensively to avoid home. We looked for peace outside or became accustomed to agitation inside us, it’s incomprehensible. 

She returned from office with plan to dine out  as usual. As she entered home, she was surprised to smell the aroma and shockingly asked me “What are you doing, Uday ?

I welcomed her with Thandai and told her “Hi Roshni, the meeting got cancelled so I came early and thought of cooking at home for change”

She replied “We could have gone to a restro. Why did you take all the trouble ?”

Things had become so dead that any uprising of emotions was resisted. We feared that even an iota love will bring back the dark memories.

I replied her “I have prepared restro like food. You freshen up. I will prepare the parathas”

She said “Wait, don’t make all of them at once. You cook them too much and it becomes like papad.”

And the nagging was back. But the old times too. She was happy to see the spread on table but resisted the expression. We were cooking together. That was some global warming to our arctic iceberg. I wished her Happy Anniversary with spoon full of sevaiyan. Tears welled up in her eyes. It was time of emotional.turmoil. I too became sentimental and we consoled each other. We had never cried together. I believe sometimes tears are necessary to wash off the past. It’s an irony how a deadly virus revived love which was killed by another of its kind.

Downpour, Deluge, Drench…

Dejected, Deserted, Disheartened,
She left me,

Darned, Damned, Dumped,
I am being,

Distressed, Discouraged, Downhearted,
I feel,

Dissected, Dispirited, Defeated,
My heart is,

Droopy, Dreary, Dull,
Spirits are,

Deficient, Defective, Depleted,
Faculties tend to be,

Doubts, Debates, Disputes,
Arise inside me,

Dark, Desolate, Dingy,
Surroundings seem,

Dusty, Dismal, Doomed,
Future looks,

Dirgeful, Doleful, Drugged,
I appear,

Dodgy, Despair, Dolorous,
I am to world now,

Doofus, Dimwit, Dumbo,
They will judge me,

Darling, Delight, Dear,
Has become past,

Dapper, Dashing, Debonair,
I used to be…

Dreamilty

Every word of my poem is like shaves of wood scraped from heart,
Every emotion infused therein is like drop of blood squeezed from arteries,
So read when I write for you,

Your idea revolves inside brain like wind in cyclone,
Your image is fixed eternally like pupil in eyes,
That’s how I think of you,

You are always beside me like invisible MacDonald’s mascot,
Your voice keep reverberating so I plug ears without music,
Therefore I never left alone,

Every gush of winds is like your scarf sliding over,
Every push back is like you are pulling and holding,
Every itch feels like a peck of kiss,
Every day appears a dream and
Every night a reality.

Afficionado

Far across the horizon,
Where waves merge into sky,
There is an island of pearls,
Checkered with rainbowy treeline,

Where animals fly to pluck fruits,
Fishes climb up the hills,
Birds swim upside down,
And insects dance without song,

Wind hums drum of symphony,
Rivers add lyrics to cacophony,
Rocks are library of nature,
Flowers are key to future,

Fruits are sour,
Leaves are sweeter,
Root grows up higher,
Trrunk goes deeper,

Sand flows like sparkling wine,
Water spreads like oilslick,
Butterflies ornates our body,
B’coz diamonds are catapulted,

Beyond this dreamland,
You are my world,
Without any differentiations,
You will be the distinction,

Jealous of whom are angels,
Arousing envy among dieties,
I will hide you in our aura,
Shroud of insanity, where

Bereft of profanity,
Love will be only commodity,
Judging for each other sincerity,
Transcending into immortality,

You will see me as your aficionado,
Whose is you muse, you are the cult.