तबादले की चिट्ठी

भवानी राम की चिट्ठी आ गई थी
उसे मेरठ से आगरा तबादला कर दिया था
रुकवाने की अर्ज़ी डाली
पिताजी ने एक मंत्री से भी बात की
चिट्ठी में चिठ्ठी के मिलने के पंद्रह दिन में आगरा पहुंचना था

भवानी राम इंतज़ार में था की इन पंद्रह दिनों में
उसका तबादला रुक जाए
क्यूँकि उसकी शादी थी एक महीने में
नई बहू के साथ नई जगह गृहस्थी जमाना आसान नहीं होगा
ये उसे मालूम था
इसलिए तबादले के रुकवाने के लिए बेचैन था

पंद्रह दिन गुज़र गए
कोई चिट्ठी नहीं आई
भवानी राम को आगरा जाना पड़ा

उसके जाते ही दो चिट्ठी आई
मेरठ वाले दफ्तर में
तो सहकर्मियों ने उत्सुकता से दोनों खोली
की पता नहीं किसमें तबादला रुक गया हो

पर पहली चिट्टी सोनसी की थी
उसकी होने वाली पत्नी
इत्र की ख़ुशबू भी आ रही थी
इस ख़ुशबू में वो सब तबादला वैगरह भूल गए
और चिट्ठी पढ़ने लगे
उसमे बहुत सारी प्यार भरी बातें लिखी थी
“की आपका पिछली चिठ्ठी मिली
उसे पढ़ कर रोम रोम खिल उठा
आप बहुत नटखट है !

(चिठ्ठी के वही अंश पढ़े जा रहे है
जो पढ़े जा सकते है,
सारी बातें यहाँ पब्लिक में बताना उचित नहीं )

मैं भी आपके लिए बहुत कुछ सीख रही हूँ
ऑफिस से आपके आने इंतज़ार करना भी
शाम को अलग अलग तरह के शरबत बनाना भी सीख रही हूँ

पर अभी तो मुझे बस आपकी बारात का इंतज़ार है
घोड़े पर बैठे आप राजा लगेंगे
और मूछों में रौबदार
बस डर रही हूँ की ये मुछे कितना चुभेगी
कम से कम आप दाढ़ी तो नहीं रखते

आप तबादले की ज़्यादा चिंता न करे
मैं पूरा घर संभाल लुंगी
और हम दोनों ही होंगे
तो गृहस्थी भी सीमित होगी
इतना क्या परेशान होना

हम रोज़ ताज महल देखने जाया करेंगे
उसी खिड़की से ताज महल देखेंगे
जिस से शाहजहां देखता था
आप लाल किले पर रहना
मैं ताज महल में रहूँगी

रात की चाँदनी में ताज देखेंगे
जहाँ एक तरफ़ यमुना में
ताज महल की परछाई होगी
दूसरी तरफ़ हमारी

मैं रोज़ नए नए व्यंजन बना कर आपको खिलाऊँगी
आप बोर ही नहीं हों पाया करोगे
अगली चिठ्ठी में बताना की क्या रहा”

ये पढ़ने में दफ्तर वालो को खूब मज़ा आया
फिर दूसरी चिट्ठी खोली तो पता लगा की तबादला रुक गया है
वो चिट्ठी दस दिन देर से आयी थी
उन्होंने दोनों चिट्ठी आगरा भेज दी

भवानी राम आगरा के दफ़्तर पहुँचे
बेमन से कुर्सी पर बैठे हुए थे
न तबादला हुआ न सोनसी की चिठ्ठी आई
मुंह लटक कर मुमताज़ की कब्र तक पहुँच गया था
और रुके हुए आंसुओं का वेग
भाकरा-नागल डैम के पानी की तरह था

जॉइन किए दस दिन हो गये थे
शादी की छुट्टी के लिए फिर मेरठ जाना का दिन आ गया
इतना लटका हुआ चेहरा देख बाबू ने भी जाने दिया
उसके जाते ही अगले दिन दोनों चिट्ठी आगरा पहुँची
उत्साह में फिर दोनों चिट्ठी खोली गई
की कौनसी तबादले की है
फिर उन्होंने सोनसी की चिठ्ठी पढ़ी
और मज़े लिए

उन्होंने दोनों चिठ्ठी इस बार
भवानी राम के घर भेज दी
शादी पाँच दिन बाद थी
चिट्ठियाँ नहीं पहुँची
पर आगरा और मेरठ के दफ़्तर वाले शादी में पहुँच गए
उन्होंने भवानी राम से कहा
“की भाई दाढ़ी मत रखता
और मुछें रखना पर बहुत पैनी नहीं
चाहो तो तबादला ले ही लो
क्यूंकि भाभीजी को ताज महल घूमना है”

उसे कुछ समझ नहीं आया
शादी हो गई पर तबादले रुकने की चिट्ठी नहीं पहुचीं
न ही सोनसी की, जिसका जवाब देना था

अब चिट्ठियों का तो ऐसा ही है
इतनी देर से आती है
की कभी कभी तो बच्चे हो जाते है
लोग retire हो जाते है
पर चिट्ठियाँ नहीं पहुँचती

From the streets…

Jackie, Madho, Rancho, Rango. We are popular as ‘Fantastic Four’ in neighbourhood. No outsider can trespass the area without our permission. We stand by our brothers and sisters in all circumstances. That’s the reason both elder and younger dogs respect us. We are undisputed king of the area from Clock Tower to Railway Station which is quite fertile. Due to presence of temples, hotels, bus stop, slums and bunglows, there is never any issue of shelter and food for survival.

The beggers at railway station are our biggest caretaker. They share alms and look after us in ups and down. They get ample food, blankets, medicines, money from kind persons & social organisations. I don’t understand how they still remain begger after receiving so much aid. And festival season is bountiful, whether it’s Eid, Diwali, Christmas or Prakash Parv. We concluded that it’s a business too. Do nothing and make merry off people’s guilt & pity.

Saturday is feast day. Lot of god fearing people feed us for taming their rogue planets. We enjoy our day with chapati and milk near Shani Mandir. Tuesday are fine too when people visiting to Hanuman Temple buy us biscuits and bread. However we love to hangout at nearby cafe where girls buy us maggie, soup, coffee, muffins and sometimes even bring delicacies from home. They feed us with their soft hands and stroke softly on our back with lovely pats on forehead. We really enjoy by the jealous look of their hungry boyfriends who crave to switch places with us.

Another reason for visiting cafe is to get glimpse of Queenie & Softy. Jackie and Madho are crazy for them. Me and Rancho tried to persuade them that they are rich foreigners while we are just commoners. There is no match. But love begins where rationality ends. Both of them keep lurking around master of girls in garb of getting food. They sometimes even try to touch and lick them. Rancho warned that them to be cautious else we could be banned from cafe.

And it happened one day. High on hormone, both the couples got caught in compromising position. We were chased off that day. But things did not end there. Male guardians of Queenie & Softy came to the cafe next day and beat us with sticks and stones. They used their influence in municipal authorities for organising sterilization drive in the area. Due to Jackie and Madho, whole neighbourhood had to suffer. Everyone got punished without their mistake. We cursed both of them for their misdeeds and adventurous love affair.

While in pain, one of the eldest dog known as Dinu Chacha visited us. He shared our pain and said your are lucky to be alive. Humans disown their own children who love someone from different community. And their Khap Panchayats kill when love flourishes in same clan. Be thankful to be a dog where you may get killed in road accidents but atleast you don’t die for love.

Divorce in Live-in

Love is everywhere. Every second is filled with love. Every thing oozes love. I never imagined love to be so beautiful. I would have died bereft of these feeling if it is not for her. It was literally falling in love when I collapsed on her while entering pool from a water ride. It was love at first sight. She looked so beautiful from close by. I didn’t realise her accompanying us on picnic until that moment. She was friend of a colleague. She was as beautiful as her name Zubeida. We started with apology which turned into endless chats and later into eternal love. We were either on phone or market or movie or metro. Even in my sleeps, I dreamt about her. Since we shared the same feelings, it was mutual decision to live-in together. Because every moment without her seems wasted. We gelled into each other so well like pieces of puzzles finding it’s match. Our family prodded us for marriage but we did not want to put any tag on our love nor any boundations. We wanted 24 karat pure love.

She was a painter. Nature being her favorite topic, we designed our home with plant in every corner. She said oxygen will nourish our bodies. We got cane furniture and bamboo crockery to compliment the pots. At home, we dressed in our birth suit blessed by nature. We mostly had organic fruits and salads. We massaged each other and transcended to our inner souls by holding hands in yoga. We meditated by uniting our bodies following the ancient scripture of Kamasutra.

Time passed like snap of finger. Her paintings are being exhibited and appreciated widely. She is getting numerous offers. Among them best is from international channel who is planning to starting a comic strip for increasing interest of public about conservation of wildlife and forest in association with a UN body. She will be required to travel around the country first and may be world later to cover the nuances of nature and depict the purity. This is once in a life time opportunity.

She is exhilarated about it. As the new job will keep her away from me for long periods, I asked her about us. Her excitement is so high that she is peeved by my question.

She abruptly said “I want divorce”

I am taken aback and it just came of out of mouth “But Zubi , we are not married”

She replied “I have read that Court consider Live-in as marriage. So give me divorce along with my share of things or I will go court and ask for it” and took off.

My life has turned upside. Suddenly the plants seem to turn pale. Seeing the bamboo crockery, I felt like a panda. I wanted to put my home on Australian fire. But I had to find a lawyer now and check for divorce in live-in relationship.

While asking references for a divorce lawyer, first question that popped is “Why do you need one ?” When I told them the situation, there was silence of shock and sometimes muffled up laughter on other end of phone. During the meeting with lawyer too, I could see her face expression confused between awe and mock on listening the facts. She somehow kept her professionalism and told me that there seem to be no precedents of such a situation. If it’s done with mutual understanding then there are no hassles. However in court things will become messier but something new will come out of it which will be a landmark for future generations.

Taking into account the reaction of people till now, I decided to talk with Zubi and sort out mutually by giving up my right in whole of our homemade jungle. Else I will become a headline, breaking news, topic of editorials, live debates. In short a laughing stock of the country.

Love maggi

Like strands of our favorite maggi gets entangled into each other. Our love life too got mixed up. We are group of five friends, Amrita or Amy, Revti as Ray, Paridhi as Pary, Anirudh as Andy and me, Saurabh as Sebu.
Being in missionary school, our names got baptized.

Andy is coolest one, keeps himself busy in gym and sports. He doesn’t understand love and emotions. But as a hunk he attracts lot of attention and enjoys the limelight.

Pary is similiar. She is a guitarist, singer and song writer, a band in herself. Her tattoos are a book of philosophy.

Amy and Ray are toppers, sincere, focused, goal setters and achievers. While I, Sebu, has no such traits. Maybe its the reason I am writing about others life.

School was a jolly time. There were no worries except exam. We used to live in the same neighbourhood and available to each other for 24 hours. College may have created distance in kilometres but not in our heart. We kept in touch and met each other on holidays. But honeymoon of the life got over after we entered the race of bread and butter. Andy joined his family business. Pary followed her dream to pursue career in music. Me and Amy joined different company in same city while Ray worked in same company as Amy but located farthest of all. We continued to be together through whatsapp, concalls, vacations. I had been organising everything since school and may be the gel which kept our group together.

When the discussion for nuptials began at home, I felt differently toward my friends. For me Amy, Pary and Ray are suddenly not friends but girls. Since me and Amy are in same city, we meet quite frequently. When I tried to woo her, she snubbed me and even complained to Ray as I am closest to her. Ray only prompted me to ask out Amy. She even pushed me to Pary. But Pary being a free bird, did not believe in marriage or relationships. She is having time of her life in Mumbai.

After getting shoved by Amy, I was shaken. Later Amy confessed to Ray that she has crush on Andy since school days. Ray prodded me to ask Andy. Doing as instructed, I realised that he is no more a playboy and wanted to settle down. He liked Amy too but couldn’t express his feelings as he is afraid of losing friendship. None of us knew of about the coffee brewing under over noses. We finally became the matchmaker between Andy and Amy. To give back the favour, Andy and Amy tried to get me and Ray together. I was elated when Andy asked me about her because I was closest to Ray. But she never replied to this proposal. Finally I gathered the courage to face her directly. She reprimended me badly. I was shattered to pieces. Later Amy got to know that Ray and Pary are gay and have hots for each other since realisation of sexuality. Now section 377 being legalised they will be open about their relationship.

The news dropped on me like a nuclear bomb. I felt jealous and embarrassed. Not even a single girl of three is interested in me. Am I that bad ? If my childhood friends don’t find me good enough, how will any other girl? This love maggi is disgusting. It has become a khichdi.

I isolated myself by quitting the WhatsApp group and stopped picking up calls. I avoided them even on home visits. As dust was settling inside me, one fine Friday evening all four of them suddenly appeared in my office so that I do not create any scene. After winding up the week, they kidnapped me. They tied my hands and gagged my mouth. Nobody uttered a word. After a long drive, we reached our hometown before dawn but did not go home. I panicked, jumped, cried but none of them reacted. I had to give them signs that nature is calling continuously. The boys accompanied me, pulled my pants and ordered to do my business before them. It felt like a prisoner of war and wanted to proclaim my rights under Geneva Convention.

While we were waiting outside the park near our neighbourhood, a familiar face was approaching with light of the day. It was my neighbour Parul. She was blushing but shocked to see me tied. It was than anyone spoke for the first time since evening and told me how she had childhood crush on me which I did not notice. They found out when Parul met them in a marriage party in our locality and enquired about me. They kept quite about the whole situation while she continued saying how I was always busy with them and ignoring others. She also noticed my unusual behaviour during recent home visits. After she left, her abnormal inquisitiveness raised doubts among them. The group ganged up. They met Parul again and kind of interrogated her. She gave in about her interest in me. Then this plan was hatched by the gang for making up to me and that’s the reason I am tied up before her like a prisoner.

Andy, Amy, Pary and Ray said in unison “Thank us later in evening when we welcome new member to the gang. Till then both of you can fulfill your appetite of love.” It is best surprise of my life. Love maggi is not that bad after all.

Love in times of corona

Today is our 20th wedding anniversary. We planned to have our customary dinner date. Considering our work schedule, the dinners are rare occasion. I being a marketing man and she working as consultant, airports, cabs & hotels started giving us homely feeling. But due to Corona fear, the business has slowed down. With time available in excess now, I decided to prepare dinner at home itself. It has been long since I have picked up ladle and knife in kitchen. I had to depend my maid to locate things. But my hands still knew how to make the signature dishes Malai Kofta, Pyaz Pulav, Bharva Bhindi, Lachchha Paratha and Sevaiyon ki kheer. The aroma of spices made me nostalgic. It took me to early years of marriage when I wooed her by cooking skills. How she used to sit on kitchen shelf, irritating me by hiding things or finding faults in my methods. Once she handed me amchoor powder instead of garam masala and whole gravy was ruined. We had to eat maggi. But with love in the air, that too felt like having a Valentine’s dinner.

It’s ancient history now. After we lost our child due to one of these mysterious fevers, we became mute and kind of blamed ourselves. We reminded each other of the tragedy so immersed ourselves in work and started travelling extensively to avoid home. We looked for peace outside or became accustomed to agitation inside us, it’s incomprehensible.

She returned from office with plan to dine out as usual. As she entered home, she was surprised to smell the aroma and shockingly asked me “What are you doing, Uday ?

I welcomed her with Thandai and told her “Hi Roshni, the meeting got cancelled so I came early and thought of cooking at home for change”

She replied “We could have gone to a restro. Why did you take all the trouble ?”

Things had become so dead that any uprising of emotions was resisted. We feared that even an iota love will bring back the dark memories.

I replied her “I have prepared restro like food. You freshen up. I will prepare the parathas”

She said “Wait, don’t make all of them at once. You cook them too much and it becomes like papad.”

And the nagging was back. But the old times too. She was happy to see the spread on table but resisted the expression. We were cooking together. That was some global warming to our arctic iceberg. I wished her Happy Anniversary with spoon full of sevaiyan. Tears welled up in her eyes. It was time of emotional.turmoil. I too became sentimental and we consoled each other. We had never cried together. I believe sometimes tears are necessary to wash off the past. It’s an irony how a deadly virus revived love which was killed by another of its kind.

माशूका के दरवाज़े पर…

ऊंची इमारत के दड़बों में छुपे,
उस चेहरे को चॉल में रहने वाले,
सुदर्शन ने पहचान लिया था,
स्कूल बस, ट्यूशन क्लास, डांस क्लास,
सब का टाइम उसे अच्छे से पता था,
जब वो बंक मरती थी ,
उसे वो मॉल और थिएटर भी पता था,
उसके दोस्त, दीवाने, बॉयफ्रेंड,
उनका का भी पता मालूम था,

चॉल में सबको, पर बिल्डिंग में किसी को,
नही मालूम था इस प्रेम कहानी का,
आज का था क्या ये प्यार,
जब से उसने रात को 11 बजे,
सिगरेट पीना शुरू किया,
उस दिन से ही सुदर्शन,
अपने चक्र में फंस गया था,

शिउली को पता भी नही था ,
की मोहल्ले की हर दुकान में ,
उसे क्यों डिस्काउंट मिलता था,
उसकी मम्मी भी
हैरान रह जाती थी,

पेंटिंग का शौक़ था सुदर्शन को,
पर अभी वो दीवारें ही पेंट करता था,
शिउली की तस्वीर बना कर ही
पहचान हुई थी दोनों में ,
उसने बिल्डिंग में उसके घर से ही,
पेंट का काम शुरू किया था,
स्टफ देने के बहाने उनमे पहचान बढ़ी,
इसी बहाने उसके दोस्तों से भी पहचान हुई,
करीबी से खुश था सुदर्शन,

शिउली की शादी तय हुई,
उसके बचपन के प्यार से,
माशूका की ख़ुशी के लिए,
उसने इज़हार-ऐ-इश्क़ भी नही किया,
अब वो उसके नए कमरे में पेंट करने लगा,
यही ख़ुशी रही उसे
की शिउली उसी बिल्डिंग में रहेगी,

अचानक से उसे हॉस्पिटल में भर्ती कराया,
उसके फेफड़ो में कैंसर आया,
ज़्यादा दिन नही थे उसके पास,
फिर एक दिन वो चली गयी,
सुदर्शन रोया बहुत,
शायद फूल के तरह,
उसकी महक एक रात की थी,
वो रात और लंबी हो जाती..

उसने नशा और रंगाई छोड़,
पेंटिंग का काम शुरू किया,
पहला पोस्टर ‘No Smoking’ का बनवाया,
और उसे सबसे पहले लगाया
माशूका के दरवाजे पर,

दुल्हन के आंसू

आज गायत्री निवास सजा हुआ है । आंगन से छत तक रोशनी झिलमिला रही है । पूरी गली के लोग अपनी घरों से निकल कर शादी के उत्सव में भाग लेने जा रहे है । जैसे छोटी-छोटी धाराएं जलाशय में मिल जाती है । शहनाई की गूंज से वातावरण मुदित हो गया है । व्यंजनों की कतार को कोई अंत नज़र नही आ रहा है । परिवार के लोग मिलजुल कर यादें बना रहे है ।

तभी दुल्हन के स्वागत सुर बजते है । भाई फूलो की चादर की नीचे बहन को जीवनसाथी से मिलने ले जा रहे है । सब दुल्हन की एक झलक पाने को ललक रहे है । दूल्हा टकटकी बांधे आस भरी नज़रो से अपनी भावी पत्नी का इंतज़ार कर रहा है । उसके दोस्त, बहने, भाभियां उसको छेड़ रहे है । नोकझोंक के बीच वरमाला सम्पन्न होती है । अब फेरो की रस्म शुरू होगी ।

फूलों से सजे मंडप में,
अग्नि के समक्ष,
वैदिक मंत्रोउच्चारण में,
सबके आर्शीवाद के बीच,
घर की लाडो रानी,
आज परायी हो जाएगी,

वजन बहूत था पर,
गहने और लहँगे का नही,
सामाजिक ढर्रे का,
सजा दी जा रही थी उसे,
बिरादरी के कानून तोड़ने की,
कैद थी वो इस लिबास में,
मंगलसूत्र जैसे फांसी हो,
पंडित एक जल्लाद,
और मेहमान पुलिस वाले,
उसके मन मे द्वंद के स्वर दे,
और मौत की वो चीख,
जो उसे कचोट रही थी,
अग्नि को देख,
जौहर की इच्छा जगती थी,
जल चढ़ाने की बात सुन,
आंख छलक आती थी,

बूत तो उस दिन ही बन गई थी जब उसके पिता ने इसी आंगन में खाप के आदेश का पालन करते हुए उसकी बहन को उसके ही प्यार के साथ मार दिया था । आज उसकी रूह का क्रियाक्रम है ।

उस नज़ारे से वो सहम गई थी । ज़िन्दगी और मोहब्बत में उसने ज़िन्दगी को चुना । चाहे ज़िंदा लाश ही सही !

A Warrior’s Pendent

State of Indrani is under attack from marauders. The beloved motherland is calling its sons to defend her. It will be first battle for Aryan. He realized that time has come to pay his dues. He puts on his armor and braces up for the battle. While polishing his sword, image of Soumya lingered in his mind. Aryan knew Soumya since he started forming memories. They had grew up together. The couple became famous for their puerile love. Few days ago their parents had fixed the date of their marriage.

Listening to emergency bells, Soumya came running to Aryan’s house but freezed at the door. Startled by tinkle of her anklets, Aryan raised his head. Their eyes met. No words were spoken. No need was felt for it. Their eyes said everything to each other. She came forward and started cleaning his shield. They both knew horrors of war and held service to the country foremost. They were raised in an environment where people courageously laid down their life for honour of the State.

Aryan got ready & started to leave. His proud parents blessed him. Soumya stood in the corner. Tears welled up in her eyes but like a brave warrior girl, she held them back. What if she couldn’t accompany him, she wanted memory of her smiling face to be with Aryan. He than walked in front of Soumya and lifted up her face. Their arms were twitching with the urge to hold each other. Both of them wanted to loose themselves in each others arm and stay their forever. He pulled out the wooden pendent hiding behind his armor and gave it an intense kiss. The same wooden pendent which had initials AS of their name. Soumya also held her copy of pendent and kissed it saying “I’ll wait for you.”

Aryan climbed on his horse, Pavan, and joined his fellow countrymen. The cavalry left with chants of slogan & wishes from the people. Soumya joined other women in prayers for victory & well being of soldiers. These women knew the duties of a warriors’ wife. They are as brave as them.

Next day soldiers returned with sound of drum beats celebrating victory over enemy. Whole of Indrani erupted in joy. But eager eyes of Soumya were searching for Aryan. She saw Pavan walking to its master’s house. She ran to it but there was no sign of him. She caressed the hoof and askingly looked into its sad eyes. She found Aryan’s pendent and its blood ridden broken string stuck in the saddle. She took the pendant and inquired every soldier of his regiment. They told how he bravely fought with the enemy but had no other clue. The family also joined her in the quest. Painstakingly they checked body of every martyr. All possible means of knowing his whereabouts were exhausted. Only thing left was story of his valor.

The victory has established authority of the State of Indrani in surrounding region. Nobody dares to attack it anymore. There is peace and prosperity. But storm in Soumya’s heart is still strong. Even after seven years, she wakes up daily with the hope that Aryan will come to claim his copy of pendant.