Among the penetrating eyes of world I feel naked. I feel so bare that when I face mirror I see myself through eyes of lecherous males. I have even lost the sight of seeing myself through. The inner self is out of question or does it still exist ?
In eyes of world, I may be grown up but I am that same young girl before she realised that she is an object. In those days I used to hide behind my mother. Now the things have changed. The difference is I hide behind the mirror wondering why I had that realisation or why I was born female ?
Some respectable men of society does nothing but ogle. These arrow of sight makes me uncomfortable, ashamed & helpless. The eyes scan & strip me in public. It kills a life. It happens everyday like slow death. I wonder how is that not murder or rape. I wish they do something so that I can retaliate. I could not reason out how to encounter those gazes ?
I want to feel as person. A living soul not a dead object. I want face mirror not hide behind it. I want to keep that young girl’s innocence intact. But how much I may try, the process is continuous. I wonder when will it stop ?
Meshroy 